How Do You Talk?

How do you talk?

Knowing that our attitude is what it is because what goes into our mind, how do you talk to yourself and how to you talk to others? You talk to yourself all day long, but the question is in what context? Do you say positive or negative things to yourself? Do you say negative or positive things to others? One trait of all winners is that they talk to themselves in a positive manner. Typically, negative or people who are failures do just the opposite.

Parents, how do you talk to your children when you want them to do something? Do you tell them to "Not play in the street" or "Stay in the yard?" Do you know the difference?
Staying in the yard is the outcome you desire. If you said the first one, what you told them was to actually go into the street. Our minds can't visualize negative, so when we are told not to do something, we see ourselves doing it then tell ourselves "I am not supposed to do that."

When you want your child to exhibit good behavior, tell them to do that good behavior, not to stop doing the bad behavior. For instance "Johnny, don't pick on your sister" is not effective because there is no desired outcome. The better answer is "Johnny, be kind to your sister." Being kind to his sister is the desired outcome. The same issue goes from employees, spouses, etc.

Self talk is the same way. Talk to yourself in a positive context. Tell yourself you are the type of person you want to be. Affirm yourself. Eliminate negative talk. "I am a winner. I achieve my goals. I am a friendly person. I have a purpose in life."

You can also give affirmations to others. I tell my children almost every day that they are winners and that I love them. I tell them they can succeed and "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." We directly affect others in how we talk. Do you talk positive or negative? Spend the next week focusing on positive talk and see how it affects others.

Another question is "Do you make statements or ask questions to communicate your ideas or position on an issue?" Making absolute statements, in many cases, is offensive to the other person. Asking a question to get to the same conclusion is much more palatable and not offensive to the receiver.


Ephesians 4:29-32
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

The Bible talks about wholesome talk for the same reason as listed above. What we think or talk about, we then become. Our thinking and talking determines who we are and also who others are. Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. One of the ways we do that is by the words we speak, to ourselves and to each other. If we are continually talking negative to ourselves, we will be negative toward others. If we talk down about ourselves, we will reflect or give that attitude to another. No person is an island; what you think directly affects you and indirectly or directly affects others. Be positive, be encouraging!


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